Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Back to the OLD Grind...
Since I have been back, my mind has felt... a bit unbalanced. Which, if you know me well, you know this is very bad for me. I love balance, I prize feeling balanced, and I try to keep my life as balanced as possible. I have been analyzing my current thought process, and I am not quite sure what is wrong with me. I think I feel deprived of what I now know exists. Before I went to Jerusalem, I used certain vices to create a muse for myself... While traveling, I didnt need these vices... the material in which to think, write, read and analyze was never lacking. In fact, I couldnt find enough time to write everything that I was thinking and experiencing down. Now, being back to my old grind, I feel empty. I am not quite sure what to do with myself here. I wake up, with no real plan for the day. I dont feel that there is anything new for me to experience here. I suppose my attitude could change, with time... But I dont think it will. I always had a urge to travel the world, now that Ive had a taste, I feel addicted. How can I make this happen?
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First and foremost, continue to write. We can never capture all that we experience, but to allow ourselves to continually practice to capture what we can gives us the opportunity to reflect upon our experiences at a later time, and thus grow from them.
ReplyDeleteThe emptiness you feel is normal. You've found purpose. The monotony of life blinds us from all the world has to offer -- people never leave out of comfort, security, and naivety. The less we step out of our boundaries, the more the wall of our boundaries shrink around us. To want to expand beyond those boundaries is to want to progress, learn, experience, make a difference.
How can you make this happen? Don't allow the walls to collapse on you. Enjoy life. Enjoy being home! There's no place like home, but knowing now that you can do without the vices is to have been refreshed with life. There is substance all around, only often we begin to overlook it through the monotony. Make a difference. Plan to go back. Travel! Nothing/no one is stopping you! Make a list of goals, dreams, deadlines, and stick to them! This is how we make things happen! Remember that although the grind is old, it's the grind itself that allows you to appreciate the difference. You make me proud JMC!
dems some good mommy nuggets preston.
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